On this day in 2006, Dream Theater released Score. I will be doing a full album play-through in their honour!
Boynton Beach Police Chief Jeffrey Katz defended the aggressive reaction of his officers in a Youtube video Tuesday, claiming the men in the car were “escalating” the situation by “recording the interaction,” causing one of the officers to fear for his…
HIYO, totally thought that dude’s finger was a pecker at first. Because what man hasn’t dreamed of sporting a BlueTooth and Wi-Fi connected ring around their wiener, this is the Bondara SexFit penis ring sexual performance evaluator. It vibrates for pleasure, has performance indicating lights, and connects to your smartphone via BlueTooth/Wi-Fi to upload your stats so you and your lover can both share a sad laugh about your fourteen total thrusts and just how ironic that ‘World’s Greatest Lover’ coffee mug you bought yourself is. TRUTH NUKE: If you have to buy yourself an award, you probably don’t deserve it.
Worn at the base of the penis and connected to a free mobile app via Bluetooth, this hi-tech [penis] ring not only stimulates a harder erection with the tight band but tracks your performance during sex using internal technology similar to a pedometer. Powerful stimulating vibrations will tantalise both partners during use much in the same way as a conventional [penis] ring, but also allow for a revolutionary ‘pacing mode’ that vibrates in time to a pre-set rhythm. Match the rhythm with your thrusts for the most effective stimulation. Notification lights on the top of the ring will also show what mode the SexFit is in, and illuminate in the centre when the rhythm is steady. Users can upload their ‘workout’ to the app and track their performance with the accompanying SexFit app that will provide insights into your intimate workout, including calories burnt and thrusts per minute. Much like other similar fitness tracker innovations, the SexFit allows the most dedicated users to share and compare their favourite sessions and impressive individual milestones with their peers on social media.Wait — so people are gonna start posting their hump session stats to social media? I guess it’s about time I clean up my friends list so I don’t have to hear about it. Also, just watch — it’s only a matter of time before some guy’s girlfriend is tagged in some other dude’s penis stats, and shit hits the fan. “Relax, I was just masturbating to Facebook!” I imagine him confessing at gunpoint. Thanks to PYY, who agrees the only sexual performance stat that really matters is how good your lover feels during and after. Plus if you’re real good they might even make you a snack!
Slipknot have confirmed details of their upcoming fifth album, which will pay tribute to late bassist Paul Gray.